Stressed-out at Christmas?

christmas-stress-mom

Years ago, when I was a busy working Mum with small children I wrote a poem about how stressful Christmas can be for mothers… I hope you enjoy it! Ho, Ho, HO!

Christmas is coming

(A Tale of Pre-Christmas Stress)

Christmas is coming

And Mummy’s getting stressed

She’s already planning

How the turkey’s to be dressed

She’s already hiding

Little thoughtful gifts

Just in case a neighbour calls

And wonders what she’s missed

Even though there’s weeks to go

She’s buying Christmas treats

All those nuts and fruit and stuff

That no one ever eats

Christmas is coming

Kids on countdown every day

Choosing Advent chocs for breakfast

No room for cornflakes here today

They’re glued to the telly

They’ve made enormous lists

The ceiling’s almost sagging

With the weight of hidden gifts

Innocently thinking

Santa’s coming with his sleigh

Whilst Mum’s already sinking

With the extra bills to pay

Christmas is coming

Now Daddy’s getting stressed

D-I-Y on Christmas Eve

Won’t put him at his best

Untangling miles of fancy lights

And hanging from a tree

He has been known to swear a bit

And mutter threateningly

And now that tatty paintwork

That last month she thought OK

Really needs a facelift

If the in-laws come to stay

Christmas is coming

Now the dog is getting tense

He’s left his own fresh gift

Among the bright presents

But the lounge is looking lovely

The new curtains are a treat

We just need to take our shoes off

On the carpets for a week

No relaxing with a mince pie

The new sofa’s much too clean

And as we cannot draw the curtains

Any mess will all be seen

Christmas is coming

And everything must be

Like a perfect story

Of the perfect family.

Everything is in its place

A tree that shines so bright

Even if she’s knackered

And doesn’t sleep at night

Even if she’s grumpy

Even if she’s cross

Everyone must smile now

After all, she is the boss

Christmas is coming

Recite the litany

It’s Asda for the pudding

M&S for the turkey

Sainsbury’s do the best mince pies

Don’t forget the brandy butter

If you get it wrong, God Help you

(She will turn into a nutter!)

For she’s making all this out of love

She’s done it all for you

So woe betide if you don’t say

The things she wants you to.

Christmas is here now!

The turkey’s looking blue

It should have started thawing

But there were other things to do

Mummy’s started drinking

Even though it’s only ten

We all know what she’s thinking

Who’s idea was this lot then?

I’d be happy with a sandwich

I don’t need this fuss and strife

I’d be fine here all alone

No more mother, no more wife

Christmas is here now!

And by now the joy has gone

All the shiny faces

Looking wary, one by one

Be afraid if on the day

You say the meat is tough

The gravy’s cold, the sprouts are grey

She’s really had enough

For planning this perfection

And putting you all first

She demands some gratitude

Or else she’ll surely burst

Christmas is here now!

Thank God it’s just a day

And we can be the way we were

Before she went “that way”…

Ho, Ho, HO!

 

Sending lots of love to stressed out Mummies and Daddies everywhere… please give yourself permission to enjoy it!

(And maybe next year, Mummy can have a lovely Retreat in Crete…?) xx

 


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